Author: kitman-007

Back in Bangalore after a hiatus of 17 years, Kittur Nagesh is instantly at home in the city and well-informed about what’s happening where, thanks to his morning jog in Lalbagh, Bangalore.

This article was published in Deccan Herald Newspaper, Bangalore, India.

Every time I visit Bangalore I get into a morning rhythm of jogging in the “still-beautiful” Lalbagh. This month I suddenly realized that what happens in the mornings at Lalbagh is a microcosm of life in the city. I have effortlessly acquired immense knowledge during my morning jogs in a multitude of areas. From politics to personal matters, from match fixing in cricket to match fixing in real life, from technology to new TV channels, the list goes on.

During my morning jogs, I have involuntarily listened to daily conversations and discovered that people who visit Lalbagh fit into four major groups, — the “Just Do It”, the “Baby boomers”, the “MTR”, and the “Twilight at dawn” groups. Each group has its own unique profile, exercise regimen, and conversation interests, and uses specific areas of the park.
The “Just Do It” group is the under-35, Nike group. Members of this group dress in Nike or Reebok or Calvin Klein coordinated gear with an occasional cap, sport a good pair of sneakers, form many girl-boy teams, are interested in information technology, enjoy cricket, and typically jog around the lake, the innermost loop. Some younger members wear their jackets and fleece regardless of the weather conditions and spend over 10 minutes warming up in public! The Chicago Bulls jackets have given way to the LA Lakers jackets. Singles in this group blaze trails that provide opportunities for romantic interludes! The Nike group seldom arrives at the park before 6 A.M. as one of the implicit goals is to target exercise during prime time!

Profound statements come easily to the Nike group. For example, “Don’t bother to watch the game! There will be two run outs and we will lose by 16 runs” is pregnant with meaning about match fixing in cricket. I, being a professional in the networking field in the USA, was touched by the statement: “B2B now means Back to Bangalore” which captures the impact of economic downturn in the IT industry. Thanks to my morning jog, I attended the inauguration of a beautiful technology park on Mysore Road and even managed a two-minute chat with our honorable Chief Minister S.M. Krishna!

The “baby boomers” are in their late 40s or early 50s. Members of this group dress in regular shirt and pants, listen to Radio City to feel young, are worried about how to make enough money before their (two) kids graduate from college, and typically walk the sand trails amidst the trees. Some members of this group display a noticeable paunch and carry a baton to ward off stray dogs. This group usually arrives at the park just before 6 A.M.

For the baby boomers, discussions related to family matters, health, and business dealings take precedence over politics and sports. For example, “If they don’t respect my family, we will not respect their family” speaks volumes about a possible infighting. This group is conscious about health as evidenced by “100 is OK. But 110 you should be careful.” I am convinced this is a snippet from a discussion on diabetes and fasting blood sugar level. I was also impressed by the upper bound being 110, rather than 120, similar to the level recommended in the USA.

Finally, this group is an avid purchaser of sites in and around the city. One gentleman was bemoaning “My 40×60 site was actually only 38×58. The promoters easily created a few extra sites by cheating the members.”
The MTR group uses the park merely as a place of assembly rather than for any exercise. After the assembly around 7 A.M. and a few warm greetings, this group takes the shortest path to the MTR restaurant for guilt-free, sumptuous breakfast and coffee. People from all age ranges belong to this group!

The “Twilight at dawn” group consists of senior citizens who are 60 and over. The members of this group dress in traditional Indian dress with men wearing dhotis and women wearing sarees and are at the park well before 5:30 A.M. Those who have visited the USA, wear coordinated name-brand jogging suits, try to walk briskly and lead the pack. Some men use walking sticks for extra support while certain women, unfortunately, don’t mind limping along without any walking aids. (I have never understood the reticence of elderly women to using walking sticks!) The members usually take the asphalt roads within Lalbagh and in many instances sit down on the benches along the way.

The singles in this group listen to classical music on their walkman sets. While exercising, some members have a tendency to clap and let the sound reverberate amidst the trees while others join the yoga session near the glass house.
In general, the twilight group gets involved in highly emotionally charged discussions such as “match fixing.” They go out of the way to identify potential grooms and brides and weigh the pros and cons of the alliances they have in mind. “Mr. X is no good. He smokes a lot.” Families where the elders are not treated with respect are also a hot, but sad, topic. I have overheard many “twilighters” lament: “I have sinned in my past life to get this sort of treatment from my son”, or “My daughter-in-law goes to Baskin Robbins regularly with her parents, but not once has she invited me.”

In summary, I have to admit that every evening I long for my morning jog in Lalbagh. In just a month, I have felt totally connected with the rest of Bangalore and hardly feel like one that has been away for over 17 years. With only a week to go before my return to the USA, I will start my daily jog with the Nike group and end it with the MTR group! But no romantic interludes as I am a happily married man!

“Fools rush in where angels fear to tread”, said Pope, and this I quoted every time I saw people waiting for the BTS buses. I considered travel by BTS buses insipid and monotonous and developed an insatiable thirst for cycling. But, thanks to the BCC, the BWSSB, and the KEB, all working cyclically throughout the year on the City roads, I quit pedaling and started traveling exclusively by BTS buses.

On numerous occasions, I have condemned my friends for wasting their youthful energy in waiting for the unreliable BTAS buses. “Pedal and simultaneously exercise, save time” I used to say. Agreed. But then, I got fed up with taking my dear bike frequently to the doctor for treatment of the ulcers on the bladder. In fact, I was doing more of walking than cycling! In addition, I would any day prefer to strain my tough limbs (the result of years of cycling?) to my weak back and my weaker bike.

Believe me, just a couple of weeks of continuous bus travel has made me repent for not having taken to it still earlier. I have inculcated an eternal sense of “over punctuality.” I leave my house at least an hour and a half before college time and this has given impetus to my morning chores. I have clearly realized that man learns to appreciate life, thus, justifying his living in this world, only by living amidst people, people, and more people.

With people from all walks of life thronging the BTS buses, I now wonder why BTS has not been named “Behavior Training School” and why people have not made use of the services of the BTS to tutor their wards in moral and social sciences.

Just observe the romantic interludes, the exciting scuffles, the authoritative political talks and debates, etc. and the adventures on the foot board. These offer a plethora of opportunities to study human behavior and in a few days you’ll be able to sketch the character of the persons and you’ll start questioning whether solitude is the school of the genius!

I have started off with a bang and “trained” at least one person in human sciences inside the BTS buses. In the process, I too have learnt a few valuable lessons and effortlessly digested the implications of “tradition”, “generation gap”, etc., on our daily life.

My nephew Shekar, who has only this year entered college, wanted to understand tradition, generation gap, westernism, and wanted ta few tips in behavior amidst women.

I paid the requisite tuition and procured admission to the Behavior Training School. I apprised Shekar of its dynamism and advised him to keep his eyes and ears wide open. To avoid jerks and simultaneously study the women, we occupied one of the front rows marked “Ladies.” (But Bangalore isn’t Madras; so this is not a problem!). Shekar was unable to imagine why our women stood in the front hanging dangerously to the support handles and straps when rows of seats were partially empty in the rear. A couple women walked straight towards us expecting us to vacate our seats.

I felt sad and said to one of them in Kannada “M’am, there are plenty of seats in the back.”

She harshly replied. “Mind your business. If you are willing to vacate, vacate.” (literal translation from local Kannada). I kept mum and struck to my seat. Shekar, horrified by her reply vacated his seat only to occupy after a short interval, as no woman sat beside me! (just a boy in the early twenties, let alone a man of marriageable age!)

A few days later Shekar, and of course I, was surprised when a pregnant lady, sweating profusely, failed to occupy a seat beside a man sitting in one of the front rows. Irritated by the behavior of the women, at home Shekar asked my sister “why is it that you girls don’t sit next to men in buses, even when the seats are empty?” Probably Shekar wanted an explanation straight from the filly’s mouth; hence, he didn’t ask me the question. “Tradition”, explained my sister.

“What have you learned so far?” I asked Shekar. “Never irritate a lady, and beware, your consideration for a fat lady might be mistaken”, smilingly he shot back.

Throughout Shekar’s schooling in the BTS buses, I tried my best to occupy the front rows with Shekar preferably behind. Once, a girl in a bottom-hugging-jeans sat beside me (a filmy coincidence?). The bus had hardly moved when she commented in English, adjusting her rectangular glasses. “It’s too sultry” and a short while later asked “May I know the time” and adjusted her watch. Encountered once again by Shekar’s probing questions, at home, my sister remarked, “Generation gap.” But Shekar wasn’t convinced.

However, he admitted having learnt a second lesson. Can take a few liberties with modern girls. Can talk about the weather, the Sun and the Moon. Can ask the time and adjust the watch.

The next time at school, Shekar pressed me to experiment; behavior study is a better phrase. Reluctantly, I accepted the challenge. Though no girl sat beside me, I decided to ask “May I know the time?” to the girl in front. Just when I was all set to do so, the bus screeched to a rapid halt and my forehead dashed against the steel bar in the front. Guessed the route number? 14!

“Sorry”, I mumbled as the girl turned behind. Shekar laughed while I cried in pain. As we got down from the bus, I lovingly said to Shekar, “C’mon, take the third lesson. Never think of a girl in a moving bus” as the Behavior Training School sped away from us.